Growing up, my mom had a very special way of making me feel better when I was sick. She would hold me close, with her arms tightly wrapped around me, and say ”give it to mommy, give it to mommy”. She’d repeat this over and over again, lulling me into a place of comfort and peace. In her warm embrace I knew I’d be better soon, and even as an adult I know there’s nothing like my mother’s touch. From that moment of conception and to this present day, she’d do whatever was necessary to take my pain away. Receiving my icky germs and contracting whatever ailment I had meant nothing to her as long as I was healthy and happy. This kind of love was once hard to fathom, but now I completely understand.
Something wonderful happens when you become a mother. The instantaneous love leads to the desire to nurture and protect in a way I can’t fully describe. There’s nothing like knowing you’re the one your baby depends on to help her thrive, and this instinct was strong in me this week as my daughter battled her first real illness. My poor little girl had tummy woes, and I felt my heart-break as she struggled to keep her food down. As she winced in discomfort, and cried for me to make her feel better, the tears streaming down her face were the perfect description of how I felt on the inside. She was lethargic and dehydrated and it bothered me that there wasn’t an instant fix. As we approached the third day of dealing with this it was challenging for me not to feel as though I was failing her. The feeling of helplessness tried to set in when she seemed to be inconsolable, and after running through the gamut of possible solutions, my husband received a pitiful voicemail and text in between me putting on a brave face for her. I know I’m a good mom, but that doesn’t prevent the days and moments where I think I’m letting my sweet angel down. 🙁
But in the midst of all this there’s good news! The reality is that I’m not a failure and never was. Nor am I helpless seeing as how I’m equipped with the Word of God, prayer, and Holy Spirit wisdom! I continue to speak and believe in her healing, and I know that today she will wake up with smiles and a hearty appetite! The chores may go undone and we may or may not leave the house, but I’ll do whatever it takes to see her dimples, and now toothy grin, shine brightly today!! 🙂
Alexandra is God’s daughter first and foremost, and as much as I love her there’s nothing He won’t and can’t do!! I can’t think of anything more comforting than that, so instead of beating myself up I will put my trust in the Lord and continue to give Him thanks!
Psalm 136:26 (AMP)O give thanks to the God of heaven, for His mercy and loving-kindness endure forever!