I was supposed to have my 40 week check up on your due date, September 10th, but my OB was out of the office. She was available the next day, Thursday the 11th, and as much as I had said I didn’t want you to be born on 9/11, I awoke with great expectations of that day being the day.
We packed your big sissy up and made sure she had extra clothes for Nannie and Papa’s house. I had a feeling we wouldn’t be home that night.
As your daddy and I sat in the doctor’s office, the exam commenced and I was told the same thing I had heard the previous 3 weeks. You were comfortable. Within reach. She could feel your head but you weren’t budging.
At 40 weeks and a day this meant it was time to schedule an induction for the following week. The call was made and we picked a date, but I still couldn’t shake the feeling that your arrival would be sooner than I thought.
Apparently my OB was thinking the same thing.
With a hint of mischief in her eyes she asked if we were ready to meet our baby.
She then said that she could break my water, thus allowing the labor process to commence! A wave of excitement washed over me as I looked at your father. We nodded in agreement and she went to work.
Let me tell you, this was extremely uncomfortable!! Like popping a balloon, she was pinching the amniotic sac that surrounded you, and I felt it all!
On the 4th attempt it happened. She leaned back with a smile of satisfaction on her face, and at the same moment I felt a gush. Just like that we were on our way to labor and delivery.
My water broke naturally with your big sissy so this wasn’t completely foreign to me. But unlike the first time where I felt no pain or contractions for at least an hour, they started immediately with you!
We made it to our first room (they’d eventually move us), and I called your Nana in Georgia to let her know it was time. She told me the whole family would be praying and as we said our goodbye’s the pain was rapidly increasing.
The contractions were steady and I knew I wanted an epidural as soon as I was able. I also wanted scrubs in the room for your daddy, because while I was planning and praying for a successful vbac, I wanted to be prepared for anything. When the emergency c-section had been called for your sister, everything happened so fast and he wasn’t in the room. God sent me an nurse angel, and she was the biggest blessing, but this time I wasn’t taking any chances.
I was finally settled in the bed, epidural in and with my fashionable hospitable gown on. To my surprise I was given the green light to eat. I thought about how much things had changed in just two years, hahaha, and the burger was honestly good! Until it came up later. Eek. 😉
I was steadily progressing, and as I went from 4 to 6 cm dilated I closed my eyes to the sound of your dada reading Bible passages to me.
The Lord is my strength and my shield;
My heart trusted in Him, and I am helped;
Therefore my heart greatly rejoices,
And with my song I will praise Him.
Psalm 28:7 NKJV
I had fallen asleep but I knew it hadn’t been long. I opened my eyes and the room felt different. As the doctor and nurses swarmed around me, checking monitors and giving each other concerned looks, I couldn’t believe this was happening again.
Your dear daddy was on his feet at this point and I distinctly remember barking at one of the nurses to make sure he had his scrubs on! We locked eyes and I knew it would be ok. My sweet nurse told me that a particularly long contraction had caused your heart rate to be dangerously low, and they wheeled me into the operating room.
It felt like deja vu, but it wasn’t supposed to be like this! If I knew I was going to end up like this I would’ve scheduled things and at least made sure my mom could’ve been here! I was supposed to have a successful vbac. I was supposed to do the one thing I wanted to prove to myself that I could do.
Instead, the blue sheet went up.
I was 7.5 cm dilated this time. With your sissy I was actually fully dilated and had started pushing when they called the emergency c-section.
Everyone prepped for surgery, then there was a stillness, a peace that entered the room. The doctor said that your heart rate was steady once again, and knowing my desire they gave me the option to honor my plan. They asked if I wanted to go back in the room and wait it out. I still had the opportunity to try for a vaginal delivery, but what would be the safest course of action for you? I asked them and of course they couldn’t give a definitive answer. It would be up to your father and I.
Your handsome dad came in the room and we weighed our options. I knew what I wanted so badly in my heart, but what if we went back to our room just to find ourselves wheeled back to the OR once again? Your father is a strong man of faith but he later told me it nearly brought him to tears to see me wheeled away again. What if your little body would be in distress? What if I was focused on the wrong thing?
I wanted to meet you and if we had the c-section that would happen in a matter of moments. With little chance of another problem arising. To be honest I still feel torn on occasion when I think about our decision, but make no mistake that there was nothing but elation and pure joy when you entered the room and my arms for the first time.
The emergency was gone and it was now a standard cesarean. Daddy rubbed my forehead and assured me that God had it all under control.
After a total of about 6 hours or so, (same timing as your sissy btw), you were here. It was 4:41pm and you weighed a whopping 9lb 4oz!
The first thing the nurse said is that you were rotund!! Lol! She also said there were signs of you twisting and struggling to make your way down the birth canal. I certainly didn’t expect you to be over 2 lbs heavier than your big sis was at birth, but I knew that regardless of how you made your entrance, all that mattered is that you were finally here. You were here and my heart grew. I was instantly madly and deeply in love with you.
Lily Anne, you and I share a middle name, in honor of my maternal grandmother who has passed away. We also share a special bond of mother and daughter, and you have a beautiful relationship with your sister too. It was love at first sight, and every day you are here is a better day for all who know you.
My sweet Lily girl, you are so loved. Thanks for calling me mama.
Be sure to click here if you missed part one!