Two years ago it happened. 40 weeks and a day into my pregnancy and it was finally your time to join us earth-side. None of it happened the way I thought it would. None of it. But finally holding you safe in my arms was all that mattered.
It wasn’t the timing I hoped for…
Your due date was September 10th which also happens to be the day your Uncle Chris was born. While he claimed he wanted to keep his birthday to himself, I know he would have loved sharing this day with his newest niece. I thought it would have been special, but I was convinced I’d be meeting you sooner.
Your big sissy was born at about 38 and a half weeks and I was so sure you’d make your way a bit early too. After all, isn’t everything supposed to be faster and ‘easier’ the second time around? HA!
At each of those latter appointments I was told you were just as content as you wanted to be, but I didn’t think my humongous basketball belly could expand anymore! I was doing my darndest to walk you out, plus I knew your Nana was coming to town a week before your expected date of arrival. Due to circumstances beyond our control her time was very limited. I prayed and prayed for you and her to meet in that delivery room but that wouldn’t be the case. You were hanging tight.
I was disappointed and shed many tears, but I knew my mom would meet you soon enough. At that point I was ready for you to be here. I was beyond ready and said I didn’t care when, but that wasn’t the whole truth. Deep in my heart I didn’t want a September 11th baby.
Any day but that.
Was I putting too much on it? Was I hormonal and overthinking things? Perhaps.
But maybe I wasn’t.
The tragic, horrific, and senseless acts of that day will be in the history books for my children. It was a day we saw the absolute worst in humanity and the absolute best. We’ll all remember exactly where we were when it happened. So many innocent lives were lost and so many sacrifices were made. We vowed as a nation to never forget.
So I admit it. I asked myself those questions.
How many people would give me ‘that look’ when I told them your birthdate?
Will it make you feel bad once you’re old enough to understand?
Will I be viewed as insensitive or unpatriotic if I post party pics instead of a memorial tribute?
How can I embrace and protect our tiny bubble of happiness on a day so marred by loss and devastation?
Am I completely selfish for even having these thoughts?
Am I being ridiculous?
How can I make it special for you?
I remember where I was, how I felt, and how my life was affected 15 years ago on September 11, 2001. And I remember where I was, how I felt, and how my life was affected 2 years ago on September 11, 2014. So how would I reconcile the two in a way that felt right for me? The answer was simple.
I would celebrate you with my whole heart. I would stop worrying and give you everything I would give you if you were born on any other day. Long before you could comprehend any historical significance I would engrain into your mind the importance of your birthday because you have made our lives better. And I would not feel guilt or shame for the joy you brought to our family because of the date.
I remember lying in the hospital bed holding you when your Papa Bob, a retired colonel in the USMC, said something so tender and profound.
I know this isn’t the day you would have picked. It seemed like everything went wrong on that day years ago, but today everything is right. You have a beautiful little girl and she can be the hope we can all hold on to. She can be what’s right in the world. She will always be your little blessing.
It wasn’t the timing I hoped for, but you will always be my blessing. Not only on your birthday, September 11th, but every day the good Lord allows me to love you in this lifetime.
Wondering what happened when I went into labor? Was my attempt at a vbac successful? Stay tuned for part two. It certainly wasn’t what I expected!
Awww I went to school with someone who had Sept. 11 as his Bday and that day definitely changed how he shared that info. But it can still be a day to celebrate life.
Yes it can, and it was! Thank you Shari!
Blessings,
Patricia
I wish wordpress had a love button, because I would click it! This is beautiful.
Thank you so much Carolyn!!
Oh Papa Bob’s words just brought tears to my eyes! Honestly I would’ve had the same fears as you, but you now have something to celebrate…and someone beautiful at that!
You’re so sweet Jacki and it’s so true. She’s my little sunshine!!
I saw Lily’s newborn photo on your IG and she looked so much like my Zhen when she was a newborn. Happy birthday to your little one!
Thank you Jennifer!!!
Blessings,
Patricia
What a wonderful story! Yes, Papa Bob is right. Kids find a way of making everything in the world right again.
They sure do. Thanks so much for commenting Jenni!
Blessings,
Patricia
Oh, Patty…What beautiful thoughts, and you expressed them so beautifully for our enjoyment! Lily Anne is a perfect example of what the world needs to celebrate!!!!! Papa Bob and I…as part of of your very extended family… loved thinking of Lily’s grand entrance on 9/11. Yeay, Lily!
We love you and Papa sooooooooo much!!!!The day was even more special because you were a part of it. <3
So beautiful!! I think I would have wrestled with the same thoughts. (And I hope I would have come up with the same conclusion, too! ❤️)
Thank you Emily!
Blessings,
Patricia
Lily just changed September 11 to a day to celebrate again!
You know, what that stupid devil tries to rob us of… God repays 70X70!
xoxo
That is so true Diane!!! God is good!!!
Happy Birthday Lily!
Thank you sweet friend!
Oh my goodness I can just SEE my Dad saying those words. September 11 is still That Day for those of us Who Remember Where We Were , but babies (and weddings) represent a new beginning. Always enjoy reading your posts, Patti.
Thank you so much Jennifer. <3
Your daughters are so beautiful!
Thank you Patty!!
Just in God’s perfect timing. Beautiful friend. Happy birthday sweet Lily!!!
Absolutely friend. Absolutely. He knows! Thank you!!
So glad you shared this Patricia! Papa Bob was right on the money. We must remember but also move on and celebrate what is new and happy.
Yes! So true!! Thank you so much Kerry. <3
Since Lily arrived on Earth, and in my heart, September 11th has become the most beautiful day to me.
For me too. She’s been melting hearts since 2014. 🙂
Oh this tugs on my mama heart strings! But she truly is a happy and oh so sweet reminder of the good in a sad and lost world!
She most certainly is!! Thank you Stephanie!!
Beautiful thoughts, just a beautiful as she is. Love the words from your father, how special. xo
It was very special and makes me tear up thinking about it. I’m so blessed by this little girl!
Blessings,
Patricia
I really enjoyed reading this post. I don’t blame your brother for not wanting to share his birthday. LOL, looking forward to reading part 2.
My brother wasn’t kidding either LOL. Part two is linked!
Blessings,
Patricia
Such a sweet story! Thank you for sharing!
Thanks so much for reading Brittany! I was happy to share all about this precious girl!
Blessings,
Patricia
Beautifully written. We honor those whose lives were lost during that tragic day. And at the same time, we celebrate the lives God had blessed us. Happy birthday in advance to your sweet girl.
I really appreciate your sweet thoughts so much!
Blessings,
Patricia
Such a sweet post.
Thank you very much Annette!!
Blessings to you!!
Patricia
Beautiful story! My brother and sister-in-law were married on Sept 11 a couple years before, and it’s hard, but you still have to celebrate the wonderful things that happen on that date too. Because hope and love are much stronger than anything else!
I couldn’t agree more Christine! Thanks so much for your sweet comment!!!
Blessings,
Patricia