Live. Laugh. Love. It wasn’t until I was in my early twenties and after my mother passed away that I heard those three words together. I was going through her jewelry box and found a small silver pendant made of those sweet words. It became my motto, for lack of a better word. Ten years later I became a mother of triplets. Those three words became even more important. They are what motherhood means to me.
I was supposed to have my 40 week check up on your due date, September 10th, but my OB was out of the office. She was available the next day, Thursday the 11th, and as much as I had said I didn’t want you to be born on 9/11, I awoke with great expectations of that day being the day.
We packed your big sissy up and made sure she had extra clothes for Nannie and Papa’s house. I had a feeling we wouldn’t be home that night.
I think I have always lived for big moments. It almost seems easier in a way. There is the prep and planning, the processing and deciding, and finally the climatic result of all your hard work. In one single day, it’s all over. There is a decidedly tangible feeling of accomplishment. You know that you have done something, and done it well.
This is not motherhood.
Since it was a fresh start to a new year, on January 5th my husband and I sat down and decided what we wanted to do with our year. We made financial goals, relationship goals, spiritual goals, and physical goals. We talked about if we wanted to add on to our family at this time, and we decided it wasn’t on our agenda. After a great talk I felt excited for 2016. The next morning after my period was 8 days late, which isn’t always uncommon for me, I saw a positive sign on a pregnancy test.