“LORD, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered— how fleeting my life is. You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand. My entire lifetime is just a moment to you; at best, each of us is but a breath.”
We are merely moving shadows, and all our busy rushing ends in nothing. We heap up wealth, not knowing who will spend it. And so, Lord, where do I put my hope? My only hope is in you.”
Psalms 39:4-7 NLT
I wrote this post after visiting my grandmother over a year ago. At the time the doctors gave her 6-8 weeks to live, but it was over a year later, this past Wednesday, that she went home to Jesus. I’m missing her, but I know she is at peace. She is now in the heavenly home where she belongs, along with my father and the other family members we have lost along the way.
I know you saw the letter I wrote to Alexandra, and now here’s one for you. I didn’t plan on going on a letter-writing campaign this week, lol, but I finally saw a writing challenge I couldn’t resist. I’m supposed to be telling you something I’ve never been able to, but considering our excellent communication, I wasn’t quite sure what that might be. 🙂 My immediate thought was to tell you again how much I love you, and that I’m truly beginning to understand your loving intent behind so many of your mommy ways. This is nothing I haven’t said to you before, but in light of today’s tragedy, I wanted to be sure you knew it. As I think of all the hearts that were left broken after such a senseless act, I thank God that I’ve had 31 wonderful years with you. We’ve certainly bumped heads and worked each others nerves, but as this picture shows, we are much more alike than either one of us might care to admit. 😉 I KNOW I am blessed to have a mother like you, but that’s not all I really wanted to say.
Years ago, you and my dad divorced. No one was more shocked than Chris and I to discover that our “perfect” family wasn’t so wonderfully happy, and drama-free after all. We all faced pain, struggles, and hard times, but even in the midst of turmoil you both truly kept us first. I don’t just mean with the material things, but in keeping watch over the delicate minds of your children. I never heard you curse my father out or make him the villain. You never told me horror stories of how he ruined your life, and you never filled our heads with lies. Thank you, thank you, and thank you for that. I know that despite your Wonder Woman façade, it was very hard on you, but you refused to let it tear our family apart. I remember adults questioning me, because they couldn’t understand how you and Dad could still get along so well. Thinking about it now I realize how innappropriate some people were, but what mattered is that your continued friendship gave your kids the confidence to know that we always had both our parents in our corner.
A little over 3 years ago you took that friendship to another level. You became thecaregiver for my cancer-strickendaddy, and invited him to live with you and Kenny in his final weeks. This, your ex-husband, was now the man whose doctors appointments you attended, and whose bandages you changed. When he was at his weakest, you and D2 (please let him know that my love and appreciation for him is fully included in this letter too) did all that you could to make him comfortable. Your home was now his once again, and in his final days I never worried about him being lonely or afraid.
Ok, now I’m crying, but it’s important for you to know that you and my stepdad showed me one of the greatest examples of unconditional love I have ever witnessed. Maybe everyone didn’t understand. Maybe their own pettiness in handling such circumstances wouldn’t allow them to see the brilliance of what God was doing, and you know what? That’s fine with me. I got the message loud and clear. Mommy, you’re one-of-a-kind. I joke about yourVulcantendencies, but the strength I’ve witnessed in you has shaped me in many ways.
I could go on and on, but I guess I’ve said all this for one very important reason. Thank you for taking such great care of your long-time friend, and the man that meant the most to me in the whole world. I want you to know that this girl’s heart will never, ever forget.