Racism Matters & A Lesson on Empathy

Empathy: The ability to identify with or understand the perspective, experiences, or motivations of another individual and to comprehend and share another individual’s emotional state.

Grief has been my leading emotion this week, but for more than just personal reasons. I grieve for the state of this nation and our world. And I grieve for my community and those around me.

I grieve the loss of human decency and the lack of empathy that freely and flippantly flows out of the mouths and actions of so many. I grieve when excuses are constantly made for poor behavior, and when people are hurting, truly hurting, the silence is deafening because you’ve determined it doesn’t pertain to you.

This type of grief often leaves me feeling helpless, heartbroken and alone. It’s exhausting and infuriating when incidents like Charlottesville occur and I know I must guard my heart deeply. Not only for the tragic nature of the event itself, but also for the insensitivity and hate that is sure to follow. 

Tees c/o: Human Citizens

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I’m Angry That This Happened

I will never forget the exact moment when the process started. I was back-to-school shopping with my girls, looking for clothes for my up and coming kindergartner. In the midst of this milestone of an occasion, my heart started beating rapidly and I could no longer think straight. One quick trip to the bathroom and I was gripped with fear.

We finished shopping and made it out of the store in record timing. Once we were home I immediately locked myself in the bathroom and began to cry. That night was the worst. The cries turned into deep weeping and agonizing pain, as I begged and pleaded for an alternative explanation before the Lord. I knew that I had just experienced loss in January, but 5 years ago I had a similar scare and that child was heading to school in a matter of days. 

The praise and worship music blasted in our bedroom and the tears continued to pour out of my eyes. I tried to allow my faith to be bigger than my fear. I was determined to walk by faith and not by sight even though it seemed an impossible task as the bleeding continued. 

Over and over I said these words:

I declare that my baby is fine. I declare that my baby is fine. I declare that my baby is fine.

In Jesus’ Name.

Amen.

I held onto hope as much as I possibly could. I wavered and crumbled and picked myself up time and time again. Those 5 days were the longest. Finally it stopped. I felt a sense of relief but it didn’t last. So what did this mean? I needed confirmation.

Two negative tests and an ultrasound later, I think I heard my heart actually breaking. 

It happened again. I miscarried again. And I’m so angry about it. 

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Milestones Aren’t Just For Babies

These items were provided by Polka Dot Print Shop. As always, I only share what I love with you! 

In a few short weeks my oldest daughter will be experiencing what I consider to be a major milestone.

My baby, my little girl, will be heading into kindergarten!!! Cue ALL the tears!!!

In 5 years we’ve experienced many firsts and they’ve all been so special. Her first bath, first tooth, first words, first steps, and so much more!!

It was always my intention to record these things in some sort of official capacity, but it never happened.

Ugh. Total #momfail.

Nonetheless, I’m realizing that these precious and memorable moments never really stop!!

Thanks to Polka Dot Print Shop I have a way to document her journey into elementary school, and record fun toddler milestones for her little sissy too!

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A Special Date With My Daughter

On Monday I did a thing.

After a little planning and coordinating, I took my 5 year old daughter out for some very special quality time. 

I set out to spend quality time with each of my girls, but I had this strong urge, this pulling on my heart strings, to take it up a notch for my oldest. 

It wasn’t fancy. It wasn’t far. It wasn’t very expensive. 

But it was special, and memorable, and everything we both needed.

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3 Reasons Why I’m in Not Rushing Into Potty Training

My youngest daughter is turning 3 in September, and she is not yet potty trained. This is certainly not the end of the world, but it is a far departure from what I originally “planned”. 

Like her older sister, she began showing interest in the potty right after she turned two. Without even realizing it, I had mapped out the same timeline in my head that I used for her big sissy. It seemed like we were heading in that direction too, until Lily suddenly lost interest. 

At this point in time my initial inclination was to get frustrated and annoyed (I’m being honest). I wanted to get this milestone behind me, and according to the members of the “they society”, they all said it would be a simpler process being that she was my second child and a girl. *Please DO note the sarcasm* haha.

But no sooner than I felt the urge to get bothered, I decided to let it go. I knew it would happen when it happened and here are my three reasons why that’s not a bad thing at all!

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