Last month I received The CSB (in)courage Devotional Bible from Front Gate Media. After taking some time to explore the pages and put it to use, I’m excited to offer a giveaway and share my review!!
I will never forget the exact moment when the process started. I was back-to-school shopping with my girls, looking for clothes for my up and coming kindergartner. In the midst of this milestone of an occasion, my heart started beating rapidly and I could no longer think straight. One quick trip to the bathroom and I was gripped with fear.
We finished shopping and made it out of the store in record timing. Once we were home I immediately locked myself in the bathroom and began to cry. That night was the worst. The cries turned into deep weeping and agonizing pain, as I begged and pleaded for an alternative explanation before the Lord. I knew that I had just experienced loss in January, but 5 years ago I had a similar scare and that child was heading to school in a matter of days.
The praise and worship music blasted in our bedroom and the tears continued to pour out of my eyes. I tried to allow my faith to be bigger than my fear. I was determined to walk by faith and not by sight even though it seemed an impossible task as the bleeding continued.
Over and over I said these words:
I declare that my baby is fine. I declare that my baby is fine. I declare that my baby is fine.
In Jesus’ Name.
I held onto hope as much as I possibly could. I wavered and crumbled and picked myself up time and time again. Those 5 days were the longest. Finally it stopped. I felt a sense of relief but it didn’t last. So what did this mean? I needed confirmation.
Two negative tests and an ultrasound later, I think I heard my heart actually breaking.
It happened again. I miscarried again. And I’m so angry about it.
This time last week I was sharing about my recent miscarriage. It honestly feels as though much more time has passed.
The rollercoaster of emotions has been very real, and as I run the gamut between sorrow, anger, grief, pain, peace, comfort, fear, and disappointment, hope is also making its presence known.
I can’t pinpoint all that I’m feeling at every moment, but I’m certain that these 5 lessons are ones I don’t ever want to forget.
Into the mud rolled the big fat truck, and his big important wheels got STUCK! His heavy-duty dump-truck tires were sunk down deep in muck and mire.
MUCK AND MIRE?!!!!!
Without fail, my 4 yo will always, always pause and place extra emphasis on this part of the Little Blue Truck. She thinks it’s hilarious! I typically burst into uproarious laughter with her, but after reading it this last time it hit me in a different way.
Sunk down deep in muck and mire.
Leave it to a children’s book, granted an excellent one, to give me pause as I stopped to reflect upon the current condition of my heart and mind.
Waiting is hard. We want what we want and we want it now.
When our timing doesn’t line up with God’s it can leave us feeling downtrodden and discouraged; isolated and alone.
It’s important that we remain faithful and focused on the Lord during the wait, and I want to tell you about a devotional that will help you do just that!