I’m Angry That This Happened

I will never forget the exact moment when the process started. I was back-to-school shopping with my girls, looking for clothes for my up and coming kindergartner. In the midst of this milestone of an occasion, my heart started beating rapidly and I could no longer think straight. One quick trip to the bathroom and I was gripped with fear.

We finished shopping and made it out of the store in record timing. Once we were home I immediately locked myself in the bathroom and began to cry. That night was the worst. The cries turned into deep weeping and agonizing pain, as I begged and pleaded for an alternative explanation before the Lord. I knew that I had just experienced loss in January, but 5 years ago I had a similar scare and that child was heading to school in a matter of days. 

The praise and worship music blasted in our bedroom and the tears continued to pour out of my eyes. I tried to allow my faith to be bigger than my fear. I was determined to walk by faith and not by sight even though it seemed an impossible task as the bleeding continued. 

Over and over I said these words:

I declare that my baby is fine. I declare that my baby is fine. I declare that my baby is fine.

In Jesus’ Name.

Amen.

I held onto hope as much as I possibly could. I wavered and crumbled and picked myself up time and time again. Those 5 days were the longest. Finally it stopped. I felt a sense of relief but it didn’t last. So what did this mean? I needed confirmation.

Two negative tests and an ultrasound later, I think I heard my heart actually breaking. 

It happened again. I miscarried again. And I’m so angry about it. 

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What Motherhood Means To…Jehava

I am a mother to 3 boys. Their ages are 11, 9 and 3.

I became a mother at 20 and it was the biggest blessing I could have ever asked for. It took me from a self –centered life to constantly caring and thinking about another individual.

This changed my perspective on the entire world.

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What Motherhood Means To…Meghan

What does motherhood mean to me?

It means constantly cleaning up toys. Occasionally stepping on legos. Scooping poop out of the bathtub.

Cutting the crust off of each sandwich. Continually wiping snotty noses until you just throw in the towel and let it drip. And yelling “GO TO SLEEP” five hundred and sixty-two times every night.

But even more than that, it is the most glorious and rewarding dream-come-true I could ever experience during life on this earth.

Photo Courtesy of Meghan Joy Yancy; Credit: www.slowroadphoto.com

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What Motherhood Means To…Melissa

Hands Full of Joy…

As a mom of multiple children, life is filled with love, love, love, sprinkled with busy. I am a mom of three (4 year old, 2 1/2 year old, and a 7 month old), and this is an extremely active season in my life. If I had a dollar for every time a stranger said to me, “You’ve got your hands full” I would have all three kids’ college tuition paid in full!

When I was a mother of two I would nicely reply, “Full hands, full heart”, and now as a mom of three I kindly reply, “Yes, I do have my hands full; full of joy!”.

Photo Courtesy of Melissa Dumas

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What Motherhood Means To…Sarah

I never expected to be a mother.

At first, it just wasn’t on my radar. My husband and I married at nineteen. We were in the middle of our college degrees and between our schooling, careers, church ministries, and building our newlywed life, the thought of becoming pregnant would send my mind into a panic.

Fast forward two years and I had the baby fever and I had it bad!

We graduated from college, moved out of our {awful} double-wide trailer and into a little blue house in the country. Life settled into a more predictable rhythm. It was time. It was time to add that tiny human to our family. And so with much excitement and anticipation for our future, we started “trying”.

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