What Motherhood Means To…Erica

I’ve really been struggling to write this guest post for Patricia’s motherhood series. Truthfully I’ve re-written it a number of times and still can’t quite find the words to appropriately express my feelings about motherhood and what it means to me. I also can’t type more than a few words without crying. I cry when I think about how much my son means to me or about our struggle to become pregnant with a sibling for him. I cry when I think about all my friends who continue to have difficulty becoming pregnant or sustaining a pregnancy. As much as motherhood is a beautiful blessing it can also be heart wrenching and emotionally exhausting when it doesn’t go as planned.

Here’s is a bit about my experience with motherhood…

We got pregnant with our now 3 year-old-son, Morris, within 5 months of trying. My pregnancy was “easy” with no complications (other then intense nausea for the first few months), my labour and delivery was very fast and natural, just as I had hoped. Morris was (and still is) a very good babe. Sure, sleep eluded us for the first half year of his life, but other than that no complaints at all.

Photo Courtesy of Erica Schott
Photo Courtesy of Erica Schott

My plan was to get pregnant with #2 before I went back to work (after a year of maternity leave)… ya well…as one of my husbands favourite quotes says, “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans for the future”.

2 years later, after a referral to a fertility clinic, 3 months of cycle monitoring, 4 medicated IUI cycles, between 50-100 needles, countless acupuncture sessions, and more negative test results then I care to remember, it was April 12th- the day of my pregnancy test after our IVF transfer (which had taken place a few weeks before).

After each month of monitoring or IUI a nurse left me a voicemail with my pregnancy test results. Each month it was the same message…”I’m sorry…” I would usually hang up mid message, have a complete meltdown, and then pull myself together (at least on the surface) and carry on.

On April 12th my husband and I agreed to listen to the message together. I was completely convinced that I was not pregnant and wasn’t sure I could cope, on my own, with another negative message. For some reason my clinic called me 3 times that day, I hit ignore each time and didn’t listen to the messages. Then I got worried. They had never phoned me this many times before, what if something was wrong. My husband and I decided that I would listen to my messages on the way home from work just in case. The first two messages said, “just trying to reach you..” Please check your call line. I pulled the car over and checked my call line, “congratulations, your test results are positive, you’re pregnant”.

Photo Courtesy of Erica Schott
Photo Courtesy of Erica Schott

We are expecting just before Christmas.

So back to the question, what motherhood means to me… It means everything, I feel honoured and blessed to be a mother. It has been the happiest time in my life so far. Yes it’s tiring and very hard work (my full time job as a mental health clinician is much easier). But hearing Morris say, “Mommy you’re the best” is worth every minute of lost sleep, every tear and tantrum, every mess and spill.

Photo Courtesy of Erica Schott
Photo Courtesy of Erica Schott

Hi my name is Erica! You can find me on instagram (with lots of Morris spam) @ericabaxterschott or blogging at www.annageorgianna.com On my blog you will find products and companies that I love and feel passionate about, recipes, our travels, and some stories from our life.

18 thoughts on “What Motherhood Means To…Erica

  1. I love sharing these moments of this part of your life. I think you have a grasp on what my mantra is… about embracing all the moments… even the tantrums in Target!
    They are over so fast!
    I remember looking in the backseat and feeling free seeing the empty car seat knowing that I could go try on clothes or just shop for milk and not have to deal with strollers or carriers. And don’t get me wrong. I don’t feel guilty for those feelings. They are normal. Especially when you feel that taking a break for yourself is going to the bathroom alone!
    But it is important to enjoy the prayer times and just chats in the car. To record the moments not just on your iphone but in your heart.
    I love your honest sharing of the hurt feelings a mom can also have.
    I remember at four when I was recording my daughter’s voice as we looked through a photo album and I was asking her… “who’s that?” and who’s that?” and she was answering. One time when she waited too long, I said “Janice” and she freeeeeeaked out and said……….. “I WANTED TO SAY THAT!!”
    And then we were listening to random tapes in the car when she was around 8 and that little conversation came on and she was horrified at her funny little tantrum and said… “Oh mommy, I can’t believe what a brat I was, I am soooo sorry!!!” And she was as mortified as an 8 year old can be. It was so funny and heart warming and I am crying a little now relaying the story to you… but just know that there will always be those bratty moments and then those growing moments where they GET IT and then a few more bratty moments and then less and less. Hey even as an adult, I’ve corrected my mom. LOL. It always will be something… but in the end… if you are blessed the love moments outweigh it all!

  2. Congratulations to your family!!! That is so amazing and such an inspirational story. I struggled with multiple losses before having my daughter, so I know the feeling of helplessness and despair. So happy you are getting your precious baby!

    1. I’m so sorry for the losses you experienced Amanda. Your daughter is a precious gift. Thanks for commenting!!

      Blessings,

      Patricia

  3. Such a touching piece! I love your series of motherhood. I am very happy for Erica and her family. I know wanting to be pregnant and waiting to get pregnant can be tough at times. What an incredible blessing for this family!

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