Hello there!! My name is Ali!
I am the mother of three beautiful kids, ages 5, 3 and 2. I have a boy and two little girls! I am also an autoimmune disease and rare blood disorder warrior, suffering from Lupus & POTS, and I remain on blood thinners indefinitely to help stop the development of blood clots in the arteries of my lungs. Needless to say, my everyday life is beautifully chaotic!
I always knew I wanted to be a mother and I knew my life was forever changed the day that test turned positive. But, I never realized just how beautiful my world would become or how much I would change, for the better.
I remember nervously sitting on that white crinkly paper that covered the patient table in my rheumatologist’s office last year, listening to her tell us that pregnancy was the onset trigger that started this path of health issues for me. She told me so many of my pregnancy issues and miscarriages, were caused by lupus and I just had no idea at the time. She told me Emmy’s traumatic delivery was my trigger into full-blown lupus. My mind was racing trying to wrap my head around the fact that motherhood, this beautiful and remarkable gift, is what’s made me this sick and fragile person I no longer recognize.
But everyday, I wake up to their loving, smiling faces as they run into my room to give me the best good morning hugs and snuggles. Everyday, we play and laugh. Everyday, they teach me how to love in a way I never knew I could. They teach me to be better, to be more Christ like. They teach me to be confident, happy, brave, and strong. I am reminded that no matter what health issues come my way, I wouldn’t trade those three beautiful little humans for anything on this planet!!
Instead of being sorrowful because of my limitations and wondering what life would be like if I never got pregnant, I focus on how grateful I am to be a mother. What a precious gift it is to be called, “Mom”. I work on being the best and healthiest version of myself everyday, for them and me. I see their resilience and courage, the innocent love they have for all those around them, and I try to emulate that through my own actions and words. I fight with every ounce of strength I have, I try to smile through the hard times but teach them it’s okay to cry and feel all those foreign emotions, and I always try to be kind towards others. I never want my kids to look back at this time in life and feel like they were cheated a childhood because of me. I want them to always remember feeling loved and cared for, I want them to know they have the strength to fight through anything life throws their way, and I want them to always treat others with kindness and love.
Motherhood is a sacred gift I will never take for granted. It’s a daily struggle and constant internal battle, trying to be the perfect mother for these perfect little lives God has trusted us with. But it’s also acceptance, knowing perfection is unattainable and all you can do is your best. Your best will vary from day to day, and that’s absolutely okay. Motherhood is never giving up; it’s fighting for what you want, who you are, and what you believe in, no matter what, to set that example for your children.
Motherhood is an indescribable love and strength, constantly burning inside of you that you never knew existed. Motherhood is messy, chaotic, and crazy, but somehow, the most beautiful thing in the entire world! It is made up of little moments that make you want to rip your hair out, mixed with little moments that take your breath away and leave you feeling so encompassed with love and gratitude. Motherhood is accepting your faults and learning to be less judgmental of others. Motherhood has given me purpose, understanding, and compassion; it gives me three reasons to fight my own battles everyday. Motherhood is love, life, and everything in between. Motherhood is my dose of everyday beautiful chaos, and I wouldn’t have it any other way!!
All my love,
Friends, Ali continues to face an array of serious health issues and underwent surgery on Wednesday. Please keep her and her family in your prayers as she recovers, and click here if you’d like more information on how you may help them during this challenging time. Keep up with Ali on Instagram and thank you so much for reading!