When the World Fails You

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I wish I was a bird so I could fly far, far, far away….

Tears are streaming down my face.

What was I supposed to be doing today? What was on my list? Was I supposed to go somewhere and meet someone? What am I supposed to be doing?

I can’t think straight. My mind is jumbled and my thoughts are clouded.

What is wrong with people? 

Another day, another murder. Another senseless act. Another individual stripped from their family.

More darkness.

More confusion, anger, outrage, and disgust. More questions than answers. More tension. More denial. More ignorance. More hatred.

More feelings of despair, wondering what to say to my kids when they are old enough to understand.

More falling on my knees in prayer so that utter fear and anger and bitterness and defeat don’t swallow me whole.

More prayer for those who truly don’t understand. Those who don’t care. Those who won’t care.

There are some terrible and wicked people in this world.

In uniform and not in uniform. White, black, brown and orange. Male and female. Single and married. Parents and childless. Highly educated and illiterate. Wealthy and poor.

There are wicked people everywhere, but the righteous must make their presence known.

Blessed are they who observe justice,
who do righteousness at all times! Psalm 106:3 (ESV)

I cry “Jesus”.

I scream “Jesus”!

I plead the blood of Jesus!!!

I ask him to help me understand. I ask him to come so that the madness will stop. I ask him to prepare my heart for when this will, inevitably, happen again. And again. And again.

I pray in the spirit when I can’t find the words to express.

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. Romans 8:26 (ESV)

I cling to Jesus, hope in Jesus, and put my trust in Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, JESUS!!!

The tears are still falling.

So I run to him, collapse in his arms and vow to never let go.

I vow to continue to try and make this world a better place, even in my tiny corner of the universe.

I vow to uphold the truth in God’s Holy Word, even when it’s hard, uncomfortable and unpopular.

I vow to love harder and deeper than I ever have before.

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. John 13:34 (ESV)

I vow to fight, because we war not against flesh and blood but powers and principalities.

And when the world fails me I look to the Lord knowing he will never fail.  And I vow to keep hope alive when there only seems to be room for the hopeless.

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16 thoughts on “When the World Fails You

  1. I simply do not understand the hate and intolerance in this world. I started noticing it more once I had a child with a disability and it truly makes my heart ache. The only thing I CAN do is teach my four children to love EVERYBODY regardless of race, gender or ability.

  2. Wow Patricia this is written so beautifully and my heart is so heavy for everyone involved. I wish more knew the love of Jesus and didn’t take matters in their own hands. If they only new we serve a just God who knows all, sees all and will make all things right someday. I wish I could give you a big hug friend. Thank you for writing this. ♥️
    xo, Nicole

  3. My heart is filled with anguish, and I know that I don’t fully understand the weight of it all. I’m so thankful that the earth is not our home, yet I mourn that we have to continue to live here. I agree with you…you spread hope, life and JESUS in your own “small” influence. That is what you can do. And it can change the world.

  4. I’ve been at a complete and utter loss for words these last few days. Raising children in the world today leaves me so worried about their tomorrow. This was so beautifully written, thank you for sharing!

  5. Amen! We must pray and also be willing to have real and
    ongoing dialogue about the privileges some folks have benefited from for centuries and how this impacts where we are today – privileges of skin color, wealth, ability, access, and more. All of it so essential in beginning to heal wounds. I believe there can be no authentic healing without being willing to face some hard truths. And in this country, too often, we prefer the comfort of denial or our own viewpoints. Thank you for this beautiful piece!

    1. Thank you for taking the time to read this E. I agree with you. Conversation is so vital. We must do what we can to be the peacekeepers and that often means taking active steps to be part of the solution!

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