I Confess…I’m Angry That You Left Me

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6 years.

It’s been 6 years since I touched your skin or gazed upon your face. A face I’ve known from birth and one I can no longer see in real time. 

It’s been 6 years since you left, and while I can’t blame you for being ready to reside in your true heavenly home, sometimes I’m simply that little girl who misses her dad and I wish you were here with me.

I’m being selfish, I know, but did you really have to go?

Could you have fought a little harder?

Did I do all I could?

Did I spend enough time with you or pray enough prayers?

Didn’t you want to walk me down that aisle or hold your grandbabies for the first time?

Oh daddy, I know you held on for as long as you could, but it wasn’t long enough!

You did your best, I know you did, and my prayers were answered. You accepted Christ as Lord and Savior weeks before you died, and as you left your earthly body you attained a full and complete healing from the cancer that ate away at your flesh.

I know that you are rejoicing at the Father’s throne and that we’ll meet again, but sometimes I get mad.

I get angry that I can’t pick up the phone and call you, because you were always the one who understood. I can’t believe I don’t have a recording of your laugh or your voice, and I’m angry you didn’t think of that before you were gone.

Why didn’t I think of that?

I’m mad that I can’t go Christmas shopping with you and I’m outraged that I can’t give you a hug. Every year around this time it hits me in such a different way but this, I believe, is overdue.

It hurts but I have to confess…I’m angry that you left me.

I’m furious, really, but it’s only because I love you so much and miss you like crazy. I’m angry because I want you back, but the truth is, you are exactly where you need to be, and I will get there one day too.

For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. Philippians 1:21 (ESV)

I miss you daddy, today and always, and I love you so much.

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EMBRACE HIS GRACE,

💜Patricia

18 thoughts on “I Confess…I’m Angry That You Left Me

  1. I’m angry, too! Both of my best friends are gone, but I’m happy to know that they’re together. Love! Love! Love you!

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