Some days in Mommy Land are absolutely stellar. On these days I actually accomplish some of the tasks on my to-do list, while happily engaging my lovely daughter with big smiles and even bigger laughs. I cherish the cuddles, fully embrace the moments of just being with my child, and at the end of the evening the new recipe I tried is heartily devoured by my toddler and husband. I feel balanced, successful, and like I can conquer the world. I feel so good that I might even award myself an imaginary gold star for achievement, LOL. I go to sleep with all sorts of happy thoughts, believing the following day will be just as positive.
Alas, there are those days (like today), that it takes all of my self-control to keep my composure in the middle of the Target aisle because my precious princess is driving me up the wall!! As I inhale and exhale deeply, I contemplate just how long it will take me to get home and put my little one down for a nap, so I can cry those tears of frustration I’ve been holding in all morning. I look at the clock and can’t believe it’s only noon, and pray that God will help me maintain my patience, joy, and loving kindness toward my child for the remainder of the day.
It is on these days, or more accurately, in these moments, that I sometimes question if I am mommy enough.
Am I mommy enough to keep my cool when my child is being disobedient?
Am I mommy enough to press through the challenging times, knowing that my work is not in vain?
Am I mommy enough to remain disciplined as I discipline my toddler?
Am I mommy enough to ask for help when I need it?
Am I mommy enough to train up my child in the way she should go?
Am I mommy enough to rejoice in the special blessing of this calling as a mother?
Am I mommy enough to let go of my mistakes?
Am I mommy enough to surrender to the Lord in the midst of it all?
Am I mommy enough to give my growing girl and baby to come all that they need to have the lives they deserve?
Am I mommy enough?…
The truth is, I know the answer to all these questions is a resounding YES! Sometimes doubt creeps in and there are times that I simply miss the mark, but God made no mistake when he appointed me to be the mother of these two precious lives! Even when I am tired and weary, angry and upset, I am enough! And the best, most reassuring truth is that I am filled with The Holy Spirit of God and (thankfully) not relying on my strength alone!!
Philippians 4:13 (AMP)
I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me; I am self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency].
Oh my dear fellow mamas, if you can relate to ever feeling this way, I encourage you…us, to hold on! As much as I may struggle with these thoughts sometimes, I am determined to keep them in check so I can do what’s most important: Cherish every moment, the great and the challenging, with my gifts from God. :)