For the next few weeks I’ll be participating in a marriage challenge that I’m very excited about. The focus for this week is “Igniting the Fire in Your Marriage: Passion“. Read on for more!
It was December 2011, and for the first time in months, I truly felt beautiful. I was about 6 months pregnant and finally seeing the sun shine again after an intense bout of the icky-sicky preggo blues. I was ready to put on a pretty dress and heels, show off my bump, and hopefully convey that magical glow I’d heard so much about.
As my husband and I headed to my former company’s holiday party, I knew it would be a special night and it was! There was great food, great conversation, and I felt fantastic!! At some point I reached out and held my hubby’s hand, and a HUGE grin was on his face. Next came the words that sent a pit straight to the bottom of my stomach.
Wow, thanks babe. You haven’t done that in months.
Hold on. Wait a minute. Say what???!!
I was devastated that my dear husband felt the need to thank me for displaying such a simple act of affection, but I casually tucked those feelings away and went on to enjoy the rest of the evening. Once I was home and alone with my thoughts, I was still in a state of unbelief.
Had it really been that long?! How can that be? I’m with him every day. I must show some sort of affection, right?
The very next day we took some time to communicate about the matter, and I was convicted!!! In a loving and patient tone, my honey shared that my fondness and tenderness toward him had seemingly gone out the window with my pregnancy. I’d stopped hugging him, reaching for his hand, cuddling up to him as we sat on the couch, and I was even sleeping with my back to him most nights. He wasn’t angry as he opened up to me (convicted again-I know I would’ve been livid if the roles were reversed!), because all he really wanted me to know was that he was yearning for some attention from his wife.
I could’ve replied with a list of ‘justifiable’ reasons like “hello, I’m pregnant with YOUR child and it’s been a doozy of a time”, but the reality is there was no excuse for placing my spouse on the backburner. It’s true that my body was worn out, and my emotions were all over the place, but I needed to stop being so selfish!
1 Corinthians 13:5a (AMP)
5 It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking;
Philippians 2:3-4 (AMP)
3 Do nothing from factional motives [through contentiousness, strife, selfishness, or for unworthy ends] or prompted by conceit and empty arrogance. Instead, in the true spirit of humility (lowliness of mind) let each regard the others as better than and superior to himself [thinking more highly of one another than you do of yourselves]. 4 Let each of you esteem and look upon and be concerned for not [merely] his own interests, but also each for the interests of others.
The bottom line is that none of what I was experiencing changed the value of my husband. He was my rock before I became pregnant, and that remained the same throughout those 38 weeks. He was my rock during our threatened miscarriage. He was my rock when I had migraines and couldn’t keep any food down. He was even my rock when the smell of dishwashing liquid made me gag, and he washed all the dishes for my entire pregnancy (without complaining)! Seriously, some affection was the least I could do!
I had to come to grips with the fact that I’d allowed the passion to seep out of my marriage, because I neglected the little things. I knew I had to make a change, and I became more cognizant of expressing the desire I felt for him in my actions AND my words.
1 Thessalonians 5:11(AMP)
11 Therefore encourage (admonish, exhort) one another and edify (strengthen and build up) one another, just as you are doing.
Today I’m more aware of what I need to do to keep that particular fire going :), but distractions like the computer and my smartphone still try to creep in and tear that passion away. Whether it’s a look or a comment, he lets me know when I need to show him what my heart is speaking, and I do my best to remain receptive to my husband’s needs.
With all this in mind, I pray that we can all make the decision to keep passion a priority in our marriages today!!
Week 1 Challenge:
Ignite passion in your marriage by investing into your husband joyfully. This may look different in every marriage, the challenge is to focus on an area of your marriage that is a little weak and pour time, energy and love into it.
Are you interested in participating in this challenge and igniting the fire in your marriage? It’s not too late! Click here for more details.
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