Nearly a year ago, I heard my daughter cry for the very first time. On that wondrous day it was sweet, sweet music to my ears, as I knew that sound meant my life was forever changed. Ahhhhh what a marvelous noise it was, and how hard it was for me to imagine feeling anything but pure bliss! Hahahaha! Let’s fast forward to the present day and find out that,
suprisingly, I don’t always feel that way.
When Alexandra cries now, I typically have 1 of 3 reactions depending on the situation.
- I leap into action to see what I can do to ease my poor baby’s woes. Super Mom to the rescue!
- I tune her out (generally when she’s fighting her sleep). Must Stay Strong Mom let’s her cry it out for a little while.
- I tend to her needs, but only after I pull a few hairs out of my own head and wonder why none of my “friends” bought me earplugs for my baby shower. Fed Up Mom has reared her ugly head.
After a challenging battle at meal time this afternoon, I realized that incessant crying isn’t the only circumstance that can bring out Fed Up Mom’s frustration. Most of the time I’m incredibly patient, and my little champion eater and I are on the same page. She usually attacks her food with great enthusiasm (which is something I don’t take for granted), but lately she’s had other ideas.
She’s been more determined than ever to show me just how strongly she can express herself, while decorating my face and clothes with food and spit. She knows what she has a taste for, and will let me know (with certainty) when I’ve missed the mark.
I’m sure it thrills her to no end to launch her sippy cup in the air, and she receives even more pleasure in watching me clean up the latest meal she’s thrown to the ground.
It’s moments like these that make me wonder if she’s driving me this crazy on purpose, but of course I know better. Even still, my teeth are clenched and I’ve walked away from the table in order to take some deep breaths and re-group before trying again. I grab some more napkins in preparation for round 2 (or are we on round 3?), and as I prepare once more for battle she begins to clap her tiny hands and say “Mama, Mama, Mama”. Ooooohhhh how does she do it?! I was so angry a mere second ago, but that was all it took for me to sit down with a smile and laugh to myself as the feeding continued.
We finally made it to the end of lunch (a 1/4 of which she spit up by the way…sigh), and part of one of my favorite verses popped in my head. “…love covers a multitude of sins.” Although Alexandra was simply getting on my nerves a bit and not “sinning” against me, lol, I couldn’t help but think about how wonderful it is to let love guide you in having more patience with others and overlooking transgressions. It truly is a beautiful thing, and I’d like to think that because of this love my baby girl will continue to feel free to do all her wonderfully messy, inquisitive and sometimes annoying things, knowing just how much I love her. No amount of tears or pea-flinging will ever change that!!