That Helpless Feeling…

Growing up, my mom had a very special way of making me feel better when I was sick.  She would hold me close, with her arms tightly wrapped around me, and say ”give it to mommy, give it to mommy”.  She’d repeat this over and over again, lulling me into a place of comfort and peace.  In her warm embrace I knew I’d be better soon, and even as an adult I know there’s nothing like my mother’s touch.  From that moment of conception and to this present day, she’d do whatever was necessary to take my pain away. Receiving my icky germs and contracting whatever ailment I had meant nothing to her as long as I was healthy and happy.  This kind of love was once hard to fathom, but now I completely understand.

Something wonderful happens when you become a mother.  The instantaneous love leads to the desire to nurture and protect in a way I can’t fully describe.  There’s nothing like knowing you’re the one your baby depends on to help her thrive, and this instinct was strong in me this week as my daughter battled her first real illness.  My poor little girl had tummy woes, and I felt my heart-break as she struggled to keep her food down. As she winced in discomfort, and cried for me to make her feel better, the tears streaming down her face were the perfect description of how I felt on the inside.  She was lethargic and dehydrated and it bothered me that there wasn’t an instant fix. As we approached the third day of dealing with this it was challenging for me not to feel as though I was failing her.  The feeling of helplessness tried to set in when she seemed to be inconsolable, and after running  through the gamut of possible solutions, my husband received a pitiful voicemail and text in between me putting on a brave face for her. I know I’m a good mom, but that doesn’t prevent the days and moments where I think I’m letting my sweet angel down. 🙁

But in the midst of all this there’s good news!  The reality is that I’m not a failure and never was. Nor am I helpless seeing as how I’m equipped with the Word of God, prayer, and Holy Spirit wisdom!  I continue to speak and believe in her healing, and I know that today she will wake up with smiles and a hearty appetite! The chores may go undone and we may or may not leave the house, but I’ll do whatever it takes to see her dimples, and now toothy grin, shine brightly today!! 🙂

Alexandra is God’s daughter first and foremost, and as much as I love her there’s nothing He won’t and can’t do!!  I can’t think of anything more comforting than that, so instead of beating myself up I will put my trust in the Lord and continue to give Him thanks!

Psalm 136:26 (AMP)
 O give thanks to the God of heaven, for His mercy and loving-kindness endure forever!
How do you react when your children are sick?  Do you trust God for their full and complete healing?

0 thoughts on “That Helpless Feeling…

  1. I so understand both what your mom did for you and what you are going through. I’ve always said, “If done with love and done right, being a mom is the hardest job on earth!”
    When I was pregnant with my third child, my two oldest contracted chicken pox, my second daughter had a really bad case. Since I had never had this childhood disease, my doctor wanted me to “farm” out my other two, so I wouldn’t get it and subsequently, my unborn daughter.
    I couldn’t even begin to fathom what kind of mom would turn her back on her babies in time of need, so I looked at him with a fake smile and said, Ohhhkaaaay. Needless to say, I didn’t farm them out. I took care of them and loved them and held them while they suffered with this rather awful childhood malady. I also prayed and had faith that God would take care of me and Micah (the womb daughter). Apparently getting chicken pox as an adult can sometimes be fatal. But we both made it, and in fact, Micah has a natural immunity to the disease. She is a nurse and is required to take the vaccine, but every time they test her, it is out of her system. They have since given up making her take the inoculations seeing how they don’t work on her.
    Likewise, whenever my children were sick – my oldest had allergies really bad and always ended up with horribles coughs and upper respiratory infections. As she would cough and choke on the mucus, I would hold her in the shower to ease her breathing and pray that God would take away her illness and give it to me instead. He never did; probably knew I had to be healthy to take care of three babies. Also, illnesses help make our immune system strong. But it never mattered knowing the science around this, I still would pray the same prayer every time one of them got sick
    I will be praying as you go through all the childhood illnesses in your futures. 🙂

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