The Ring Around My Neck

Labor Day Weekend 2012

I’m smiling so I must be happy right?  Well, not exactly.  Let me start at the beginning…

This past November I was 5 months pregnant and turning 30.  I’d experienced major swelling from the very beginning, but in the midst of certain discomforts I was grateful that a few normalcies were in tact.  One such joy came from still being able to wear my wedding ring.    Now I knew that this could change at any moment, but maybe, just maybe, I’d be one of the lucky ones.  My birthday is November 14th and at the time it was still sitting pretty on my finger.  Thanksgiving was 10 days later, and sadly, no more ring. I don’t remember exactly when it happened but I distinctly recall the tight, clinching, pinching feeling I experienced on the morning my ring suffocated my finger. I didn’t want to end up in the emergency room and watch a doctor or nurse cut it off my hand, so siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.  It was time to take it off. 

Days and weeks passed, and my once little hand felt bare.  A few people noticed the absence and suggested I try wearing it on my right side, because for whatever reason it worked for them.  No success.  Then there was the idea of putting it on a chain around my neck, but I was teaching P.E. and paranoia set in as I thought about the outdoor spaces, movement, equipment, and hundreds of students I was interacting with throughout the week.  So after consulting with my hubby the decision was made.  I’d go ringless until after the baby arrived.  I wasn’t particularly self-conscious about it when I was out in public (shame on anyone who would think it was their business to make certain assumptions), but deep down I missed it.  I knew it would only be a matter of time, and then voilà! It was March at last and my sweet daughter was born.

Upon her arrival, I was determined to be as realistic as possible when it came to shedding my baby weight.  I never had a crazy image of an insta-flat tummy or my ring miraculously fitting as I laid in the recovery room after delivery.  I’d give it some time and surely my goal would be attained in a matter of months.  The truth is it hasn’t quite happened this way.

Although some days are better than others, I’m generally pleased when I look in the mirror.  I lost much of my water weight with ease, and nursing has made a big difference in burning calories.  I walk often, and generally lead an active lifestyle, but the one change I longed to see most has yet to come to fruition.  It was Labor Day weekend and after several devastating disappointing attempts to at least get my band past my knuckle without throbbing, I decided to temporarily throw in the towel and start wearing it as a necklace.  I was happy to have it close to my heart, but deep down I felt a sense of defeat.

Trust me when I say that I’m not writing this to throw a pity party.  I know I’m beautiful at whatever shape or size I’m at, and that my goal will be reached.  The bottom line is that I’m not there yet, and this doesn’t make me happy.  I don’t want to continue wearing my ring around my neck, because for me, it’s not where it belongs.  I don’t want to get it re-sized either because, well, I JUST DON’T.  I want to work harder, make some changes and see where it leads me. If I need to do some re-evaluating at some point I’ll cross that bridge when it comes.

Alexandra turned 6 months old on Wednesday, and that morning I began an insane new work-out (more on this later).  The countdown to “Patricia Wears Her Ring” is on, and I’ll be sure to keep you all posted.  Feel free to check in on me and make everyday count!!

God Bless!!

What are your some of your goals?  How do you stay motivated?  Do you encourage others along the way?

10 thoughts on “The Ring Around My Neck

  1. You are beautiful! You are blessed with the gift of life and even greater, you have a loving daughter who sheds love on you unconditionally daily. Continue your partnership with your husband and stay positive. So many areas of your life is a blessing to me and many other people.

    I do set goals. I write them on flash cards and view them three days out of every week. This helps me to stay focused. I do not talk to friends about my goals, instead I have a wonderful prayer life!

    I know you will reach your goals!

    1. Thanks Tessa!
      Your words make me smile. 😉 I’m honestly feeling very encouraged and happy that I’ve decided to take the first step in making a change:doing something different. But I do know that regardless of the outcome I’m blessed with a loving God, husband, and baby who love me just the way I am, and I love me too!! Lol!
      I like what you said about writing your goals down. That;s a great way to keep them fresh in your memory and prayer is essential! I also appreciate you bringing up the point about keeping certain goals to yourself. In this instance I’m ok with sharing because the accountability of others will help. But every goal isn’t meant to be shared. We must use discretion and be cautious around the “dreamkillers” in our lives.

  2. Patricia, you WILL get there! Just remember it took your body nine months to get ready for the blessing you now have and it will take it a year or longer to return to its previous form. Just don’t do what I did and get on some crazy diet. I yo-yoed so much that I gained more and more weight until I was grossly overweight (see my blog on A Journey Well Worth Taken). Just eat healthy and try to get some exercise besides chasing a baby. It takes more after a baby. Being a PE teacher, I know you know all this. But I taught aerobics and I too knew what to do, but I was always in a hurry so I crashed and crazed dieted all the time with devastating results.
    You are right, you are beautiful the way you are, and if God intends for you to be a few pounds heavier, the rings can be sized.
    Good Luck!

    1. Thanks so much Darla!! I plan to use wisdom throughout this process, but I definitely needed to hear your reminder to be patient. A part of me was very disappointed that due to certain complications I wasn’t able to stay very active during my pregnancy, but now I’m determined to simply take it one day at a time. I do believe I can do it 🙂 , and your support means a lot! I look forward to reading your post and I’m glad we’re both making healthy lifestyle choices!!

  3. Hi Patricia, how wonderful that you found a solution by wearing your ring around your neck, it is good to have it close to your heart.

    When I was pregnant with one of my Babies, sadly they all didn’t survive Birth or gestation but I’m comforted that they are all in Heaven, I had Toxaemia and like you I could not wear my rings, so yes I do understand.

    Also if Ron were to die before me, I would still wear my rings, as he will always be my earthly husband in my heart no matter what happens and Spiritually we will always be United and Close in Eternity by God’s Love.

    Jesus is my Spiritual Husband and I also wear symbols to remind me He is always close too, they have great significance for me, one is a Deer and the other a Butterfly, no they have no power or magic accept the power to comfort me when needed reminding me I’m never alone. Jesus gave me two poems with these symbols in them, for the same reason, I feel so close to Him, I could touch Him, how I Love Him so, yet how Awesome that He Loved me first, even being as dark as I was in sin.

    Thanks for sharing – Christian Love from both of us – Anne.

  4. I believe that soon, you will once again wear the stunning ring. For now, you have the most beautiful daughter that sparkles like sunshine with the smile of an angel. God bless you and your family.

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