The Fairness Effect

Fair is not a word I use frequently in my speech, but sometimes it’s far too prevalent in my thoughts.  I could be driving on the freeway and see a car dangerously maneuvering in and out of lanes.  I think  “Where’s the cop when crazy drivers like this are around?  They never get caught.  It isn’t fair.”  Or I’m in the grocery store patiently waiting in the main line with my 11 items, when I see that person boldly step up to the “10 Items or Less” register knowing they have 32 things.  No one says a word and they’re out the door.  That’s not fair.  They should have waited too.  The list goes on, but perhaps where this thinking is most commonplace (and most dangerous) is in my personal relationships.  This is especially true when interacting with my husband.

There’s the irritation that comes when I sense even a hint of frustration from him after I don’t immediately do something he asked me to.  Well that’s just great.  He’s mad because I haven’t done that one thing yet, but what about the several things he hasn’t completed?  All my flesh wants to do in that situation is pull out a list of tally marks and compare who’s done what, but thankfully Holy Spirit reminds me that this is a BIG no-no.  Even still, I may feel like equity has been lost in several other instances.  Too often I wonder why it is that when we get into an argument/disagreement I seem to “always” be the one to apologize first.  Siiiiiiiigh.  Why do I have to say I’m sorry, especially when I was right all along?!  I don’t feel like being the bigger person.  Have you been there before?  Then it dawned on me (with the help of sound Godly wisdom), that as a Believer I need to remove the word fair from my vocabulary.  More importantly I need to stop it from being my leading thought when faced with any number of circumstances.  Who am I to think everything should go my way all the time?  Who am I to be so puffed up with pride, that I’d rather be right than do my part to maintain peace in my home?  And where would I be if Jesus came off the cross because he knew what he was about to endure wasn’t fair?  Matthew 27: 36-50 (NKJV):

Sitting down, they kept watch over Him there.  And they put up over His head the accusation written against Him:  THIS IS JESUS THE KING OF THE JEWS.  Then two robbers were crucified with Him, one on the right and another on the left.   And those who passed by blasphemed Him, wagging their heads and saying, “You who destroy the temple and build it in three days, save Yourself! If You are the Son of God, come down from the cross.”  Likewise the chief priests also, mocking with the scribes and elders, said, “He saved others; Himself He cannot save. If He is the King of Israel, let Him now come down from the cross, and we will believe Him.  He trusted in God; let Him deliver Him now if He will have Him; for He said, ‘I am the Son of God.’”  Even the robbers who were crucified with Him reviled Him with the same thing.   Now from the sixth hour until the ninth hour there was darkness over all the land. And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?” that is, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?”  Some of those who stood there, when they heard that, said, “This Man is calling for Elijah!” Immediately one of them ran and took a sponge, filled it with sour wine and put it on a reed, and offered it to Him to drink.  The rest said, “Let Him alone; let us see if Elijah will come to save Him.”  And Jesus cried out again with a loud voice, and yielded up His spirit. 

Wow.  I don’t know about you, but that hit me like a ton of bricks.  Jesus himself was in a situation so unjust, that it may be hard  for you or I to fathom.  In any of our daily encounters, irritations or woes, do we experience anything that even compares?  I think not!!  Not only that, but by going forth with what He had been called to do, Jesus gave us new life.  His selflessness saved us, yet we (I) allow our feathers to be ruffled over the little things. 

The truth is the world hates the light.  We are called out and set apart as peculiar people, so we will be wronged sometimes.   Potentially being at odds with our spouse, family members, friends, or even the brethren is no exception, but we have the ability through God’s Word and Holy Spirit power to bring our flesh under subjection! Our feelings may be hurt, and in fact, completely justified, but to live as Christ means we don’t make excuses in order to treat others poorly.  Let me clarify by saying that being a Christian doesn’t mean being weak or having to put up with any old behavior, but if you’re walking in wisdom you know exactly what I mean.  You see, this concept of only having what’s fair come our way, goes beyond crazy drivers, selfish people, and even marital strains.  As children of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords we need to be better examples of exhibiting His Word. 

Romans 12:18 (AMP) If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

Hebrews 12:14-15 (AMP)Strive to live in peace with everybody and pursue that consecration and holiness without which no one will [ever] see the Lord.  Exercise foresight and be on the watch to look [after one another], to see that no one falls back from and fails to secure God’s grace (His unmerited favor and spiritual blessing), in order that no root of resentment (rancor, bitterness, or hatred) shoots forth and causes trouble and bitter torment, and the many become contaminated and defiled by it—

I need to be a better example, and thanks be to God, I have the ability (with His strength) to make a change!

Will you change with me?!

0 thoughts on “The Fairness Effect

  1. I loved your post! As believers we can show grace but that doesn’t mean being a doormat or putting up with abuse. But we don’t need to demand our way either. Thanks for the great reminder.

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